A Sense Of Belonging
When I was small I found my sense of belonging in the natural world. I grew up with my younger brother in a small suburban lower Michigan neighborhood that felt more like a town where everyone knew everyones business than the feel of a city. Our play space was a fairly sizable area off the back of our home where my mother had created a natural landscape of interesting color and sanctuary. Flower beds and large trees lined the edges of our yard with islands of plants neatly placed throughout the open space. An impeccably organized vegetable garden filled the back corner of our property near the wishing-well that collected storm runoff from all the yards on our street and cleverly funneled into the sewer system. There was a great grandfather White Pine that towered over the tall wooden fence and sent me spiraling into storybook adventures within my imagination. The fur tree at the front corner of our house became the place of buried treasure. The burning bush became a wild thicket behind my mothers bedroom deck which served as a stage and winter sled hill. We were encouraged to remain outdoors everyday until dark and did so happily. While my brother was more likely to be running with the neighbor boys setting traps and fighting invisible villains, I was often alone, dancing with the wind, speaking with the trees, watching flowers open, and receiving messages from squirrels and birds.
As I started venturing away from the comfort of my own backyard I was continually drawn to the wilder spaces. The overgrown corner behind the baseball fence at the abandon school down the street. The neglected ally space running between long yards, broken down sheds and large unstable trees. The small hill behind someones side-lot that led into industrial streets taken over by wildflowers and weeds. I would sit within these spaces quietly for hours asking questions and being answered by the life around me. I preferred my relationship to the natural world more than that of humans and outings.
I fashioned my canopy bed into a tent around my curtain-less window so the moon could fill my space with her glowing light. The stars held the knowledge of my every dream and I trusted their movement like some people trust their gods. I started heading out into the night when all was still and easier to commune with. I felt understood and cared for in that world. I developed a sense of responsibility and purpose. I was endlessly entertained by my curiosity to see and experience something mysterious and magical that I felt most of my peers didn’t even care to notice.
We spent many summers and long weekends at the shore of Lake Huron in our family cabin. I would venture far down the beach and deep into the woods until I felt far enough that I wouldn’t be found. I spoke with the waves, the beach of stones, and the tiny sand spiders. I collected drift wood, branches and logs and built elaborate structures, and bridges that I would sometimes destroy upon completion. I worked hard and was challenged. I consulted with the chipmunks and frogs in my building projects. I created beautiful mandalas of leaf and petal, feather and cone. I listened for the wind and the blue huron to urge me return home. I was free there, it was my greatest classroom… and I never felt alone.
Into many years of adulthood I became lost amongst human agendas and environments often returning to the living world where I felt replenished and loved. I stuck with the nature spirits by my side and they kept me close as well. Even at times I felt so distant and Isolated from the world that made me who I am, they still called to me in my dream spaces and quiet times. They spoke to me through signs and synchronicities within the human world as well and still do to this day.
The discoveries and experiences flowing into my journey over the last several years have grounded and woven me so much more in my truth and connection to the plants, elements, ancestors and mysterious magic of life. Parts of my heritage calling out to me (Lakota and Scottish), diving deeper into study of plant medicine and energetics, (Lindera 2017! herbcraft.org), and building relationship with spirit through my Reiki training (teamyou.blog) to name a few. I am forever filled with curiosity and excitement for where the path of becoming leads.
